My relationship with pleasure changed when I started exploring weed, specifically getting high and coming home after concerts in a pretty relaxed state of mind and recognizing it as its own distinct sensation. It dawned on me that pleasure wasn't something that just happened to me, but that there might actually be actions I could do to increase the chances of it happening, and increase my awareness and perception of it.

This started first with listening to music. I noticed that when I was enjoying the music with the time to listen to it - not trying to do something while the music is playing in the background - there were pleasurable sensations in my body. And that these sensations were the same as I felt in other moments of my life, like eating a nice snack or creating something new.

During these explorations I also noticed how much pleasure there was in taking a shower and sliding naked into my sheets, feeling the soft sensations all over my body. Unlike music which was a more cognitive source of pleasure, this was a full-bodied physical sensation source. The same goopy cloud of energy was there though. Eventually I put two and two together and realized turning off the lights, getting into the covers with music playing, and riding out my high in a half-waking, half-sleepy state was like turning on a faucet of pleasure that would last for hours.

Since then, I've continued to try and pay attention to pleasure and what invites it in. For me, the experience appears and is concentrated in the belly, feeling like a warm, goopy cloud of soft excited energy. I've noticed it's easier to feel it when I'm relaxed rather than tensed, although it's also an effective way to start the process of easing tensions and inviting in relaxation as well. Pain can be pleasurable, in the right contexts. The sensation of pleasure seems to be downstream of beauty - looking at a beautiful landscape triggers some of the same feeling as covering myself with a soft blanket on a cold night.